air_n_darkness | (no subject)

Well, as those who've seen me recently can attest, I made it through the stomach bug without dying. My tummy is still a bit picky about what I can put in it, as the marathon vomiting really damaged my insides (it's now been two weeks since the virus onset; Pray to ALL the gods that you don't get that virus!)

I am very glad that I let draconisferret convince me to attend FOS this year. I've had people invite me before, but the fact that I've been soliatry for so long, coupled w/ a pretty bad case of claustrophobia, has kept me from doing so. The meetings at Mama Dragon's have helped pull me out of my shell a bit, but I'm still a pretty closed off individual. There were several times during the weekend that I had that "outside looking in" feeling, but I know that most of that was because of my walls and I there were times when I know I was giving off the "leave me be" vibe. Honestly, the fact that I was able to make the tenuous connections w/ the few people I did amazed me. Thanks to dyinginwinter , nair_al_saif_ , lunarastar22, and of course draconisferret (and Jay) for keeping me from hiding the whole weekend. There were others (like Mama Dragon, herself), of course, but if they have LJ's, I don't know them. So here's a general thank you to those people.

The weekend started off w/ Jay "voluntering" me to call a quarter at opening rit. Blegh! Stage Fright!! Since I've been solitary for so long I'm big into "Macross Magic", ie the formula is in my head, click the right "button", poof! Circle is cast, quarters represented everybody happy, H-A-P-P-Y. Not that formal rit doesn't have it's place, I'm just not programmed that way. When I DO go formal, it's an all out humdinger of an occasion. But I managed through it, /wo stumbling badly. Called water, dismissed water, apparently didn't piss off anybody 'cause it waited till today to rain cats and dogs. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Slept like poopie Thurs night. Discovered the Fri morning that while we did have nice hot water for showers, only 1 of the 3 bathroom heaters were working so you still froze your ass off. Nitia was damned and determined that we were going to have this particula tent to cover our dealers table (yes, I'm poking fun at you dear; deal w/ it. LOL), so off we went to Wally-World and to pick up some stuffs for the kitchen (natch, not everything made it there that was needed for cooking the nummies). After an interesting couple of bad turns, we failed in the tent mission, succeeded in the kitchen mission, and I found a cool, soft stuffed Halloween kitty. And even made it back to camp before lunch. As far as our joint selling endeavor went, we didn't do to well. I think Nitia did better selling old VHS tapes than anything else, LOL. It was successful in that I ran into someone who I haven't seen in years, (Emmy, Call Me, this is a certain Irish nurse that you asked me about the other day,a nd she wants to meet up w/ both of us!) and we exchanged contact info. She has a website and offered to put some of my stuff on for sell when her shopping cart opens up in a few months. I got to meet her fiance' and we talked about her 2 munchkins abit.

I was interested in the Ancestor Ritual that evening, but planned to just observe, not actually participate. But the emotion was so strong, I was pulled in. Literally. The lady walked around the circle, pointing to people that wished to honor an ancestor. I was OUTSIDE the circle, and she still stopped in front of me, pulling me in. It was rough. I miss my mom. I was a mess for the rest of the night, so much so that I skipped the Labyrinth, and actually went to bed w/ the covers over my head. Before hibernating, I did do the journey w/ annie, which actually wore my ass out even more. But I needed it. It made me realize several things that I need to address in my life. It was both comforting and upseting to me when people would come up to me out of the blue during the rest of the weekend and give me a hug and tell me they were crying with me....

OK, enough on that subject....

I slept like the dead that night, and woke up w/ a nasty-ass headache and feeling like I'd been beaten w/ a baseball bat. Nitia and I moved our table over w/ Cedarwoman's since she was in. Nitia had managed to mess up her eyeball somehow, so I stayed w/ the table for the morning while she was recuperating. I did get to sit in on what was supposed to be a workshop on Unconsious Magic, but was really just a VERY funny, VERY LONG story. No biggie, I was entertained. I took many pics of Realm graduation for Nitia, Leif and Jen, hit her up for copies. Am planning on trying to do the 1st realm class coming up. Have to talk to mama dragon

The drummers were really into it before main rit, which REALLY helped me get charged up. I'm a savage at heart, I know. Drums speak to my essence.

Main rit was for me very cool, though a bit convoluted. Point: It is very hard to keep people chanting on the same beat if they aren't chanting above a whisper, esp w/ that many people. You wind up w/ half the circle on one line w/ the other half on the other line. But it would ineveitably come together. The Staff that Laurie was presented w/ was absolutely awsome. Lots of power, and I noticed several people seemed to have trouble grounding afterwards. Then we got to EAT!!!!!!! And listen to Sooj(sp?), Yeah!

Leif had brought all his tarot decks w/ him because he wanted to practice. I took him up on the offer. Having sat in on a couple of readings at the beginning of the weekend, I was able to tell that he was really improving quickly. He gave me a rather spot on reading, and as soon as he gets used to trusting his instincts more than the book, he'll really be on his way. I returned the favor, w/ my Dali deck, as that was the only one I'd brought w/ me (because Leif wanted to see it). I'd forgotten how loud those cards can be. Intense doesn't do it justice. Wound up sitting up w/ the crew till about 3am, then HAD to go sleepy-bye. Even jay and nitia went to sleep before me.

Did not want to get up Sunday. Did not want to leave Sunday. 'Nuff said