Aug. 22nd, 2017

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So, it's been a month since our split. I was honest when I said I wanted this to be a break from dating so that we could work on our other issues. We were, in the first couple of weeks still talking a little. Nothing major. But friendly.

Since the overgrown garden gnome got kicked from the LARP, though, I am apparently well and truly the Devil. We were supposed to still be friends, regardless of if we started dating again or not. I am still friends with his wife, and we chat periodically. However, it seems that despite I am sure having the entire FOUR HOUR conversation she and the ST had shared with him- I am to blame for her getting kicked. He is certainly giving other people that impression. However, I recused myself from any discussion about her future in the game, as did the other narrator who had personal issues with her. The other four made their decision, based on her actions at the July game, and her steadfast refusal to take any constructive assistance, with no input from me. In fact, part of that four hour conversation she and the ST had, involved him giving her multiple chances to give him a good reason to give her another chance. Player-fires don't happen lightly in any game, and this one promised to be particularly political.

So, my ex has also quit the game, taking his wife with him, AND decided that they were going to make a competing LARP so all the people who can't hand in RO can LARP. We welcome another LARP into the community, esp one that offers a setting that we don't, such as the chance to play Sabbat concepts. Personally, I'd love to play a Sabbat concept I've had in my head for awhile, now. So, I asked about the detail. Or tried to. This man, who likes nothing more than to talk for hours about his games, refused me any thing but the barest details. I have opened my door to try and allow him to reach in several times, since. Beyond that, he also stopped talking to one of my dearest friends, who has done so much for him- I guess just because of me.

I am reaching the point of indifference.

And that scares me.

It isn't that I don't still love him. I really do. All these little micro-aggressions, they build up, cut upon cut upon cut, scar upon scar upon scar. It hurts. Eventually, though, the tolerance builds up, too, and I just. Stop. Caring.

Our relationship meant so much to me. I don't want it to end in indifference.

But, as usual, what I want doesn't matter.

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air_n_darkness

August 2017

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