Nov. 27th, 2008

air_n_darkness: (mermaid:transition)
Yes, I am all right. A little down (actually more than a little), but it could be worse, I suppose. I had several offers to come to x, y, z house for the day, but I declined. Being around people would not have improved my mood, however; in fact, it likely would have worsened it, as I would then have had to bottle every thing up until I got home. It is not that I don't have any place to go. It is that for the first time in almost a decade, I don't have a home and family to go to/have over. Several of you are Family to me, and I hope you know that, but it isn't the same. I thought it wouldn't bother me, but it does. Little things, little traditions built over the years, all gone by the wayside, and for what?

Gods, I can't imagine what Christmas is going to be like.

At any rate, I haven't just been sitting here moping. Just because I chose to deal with the day on my own, does not mean I had to not enjoy the day. I cooked a turkey, just a small one, brined overnight and seasoned with Moroccan spices. I also tried a new cornbread dressing recipe, made dumplings, and made a sweet potato puree. Wasn't too crazy about the dressing- doubt I'll be remaking that one. The sweet potato puree was really nice. Boiled sweet potatoes, blended with buttermilk, butter, a little salt, and cardamon. The turkey and dumplings came out fine.

I also made myself tackle the pile of bills. I've..kinda been rather bad about them. I haven't had any spare money to pay them, so I really haven't been looking at them. That, and every time I think of them I get pissed off and depressed all at the same time. Meh.

All that said, things could be much, much worse. I have good friends, a place to live, and a job that pays decently, even if it really isn't a realistic living wage in today's world. Despite not doing much in the past few years with my creative side, I don't seem to have most my touch or my knowledge. I have kitties who love me unconditionally. And I don't hate. That's a big one. I hurt. But I don't hate.

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