It has been a particularly trying year, on several levels. The divorce, which is still pending; the closing of a more than just a business; the coming to grips with my inner demons and accepting that it's ok to accept help on that front; and finaces- mustn't forget the financial mess- it's all been one big mess. I've muddled through, better even than I thought I would. And now the year is almost over. Just a little over an hour left, looks like. I can't wait.
It's not that I expect some little fairy to come down and magically make things better for me at midnight. Far from it. But it does allow me to have a "fresh start" as it were. I'm on my way to that already. Currently, I don't have to move, but I have a place to go to when I do. I'm really starting to look long and hard at my Stuff and what I am going to keep. I'm recognizing that I channeled a lot of my depression and whatnot into buying Stuff for the momentary happy buzz. Yes, I want to keep most all of it; however, I don't need any of it. It's time to be a bit more realistic.
Health-wise, I've been doing ok. December has not been a good month for me, as far as my eating. I've been running ninety to nothing, and eating very, very poorly. The issues with my teeth haven't helped. So I've gained back about five pounds. It's annoying, but not heartbreaking like it might have been at one point. I'll get back into the swing of things next week.
I...dislike the idea of making resolutions. Possibly, because for so many years there was only one resolution, and that was to get skinny. And that never worked, because diets don't work. however, there are a few things I'd like be more conscious of in the coming weeks.
Money: Where it comes from and where it's going. I admit to having a bit of an impulse control problem. If I make myself sit down and actually plan out my funds and spending, I do much better. I want to pay my outstanding debts off, and if I really put my mind to it, I think I can do almost all of it in one year, student loans not withstanding. Maybe even without changing jobs. If I can just pick up a second PT job, and dump as much as I can on ebay, I'll manage ok.
Food: What I eat, when I eat, how I eat, and where the food comes from. I've become very, very interested in nutrition lately. I'm not a shining paragon of healthy eating and never will be. That does not mean I can't pay better attention.
Magic: Studying more. Doing more. I've let that part of me languish for too long. I need to step up and stop hiding.
Art: Heh, see above. Seriously, I need to get back into doing art for art's sake, not just for swaps or money. Oh, I enjoy the swaps. And it feels really, really good to know I really can make things people want to purchase. But it's been...years really, since I've made a piece of art for me, something just because I can.
Exercise: I am not, despite what some might think based on appearances, a lazy person. I actually enjoy exercise quite a bit. There's a lot I can't do because of the issues with my joints. Anything high impact does more damage than good. But I can still strength train. And bike. Eventually, I'd like to get a real bike again.
Stuff: Has already been covered.
Aside from the bills, there are a few purchases I'd like to make/things I'd like to save for. This includes:
Botcon. I have the time off approved. It remains to be seen if I will be able to afford the Primus package cost before they all sell out. But I'm not sure it matters that much to me, really. Ideally, I'd like to have between 1000-1500 to make the trip with. Since it's not till the end of May, that is doable, really.
I desperately need a new camera. My ancient Kodack 1st gen digital is a hairs breath from croaking, and if I'm doing commissions, I really ought to be taking pics of them. I don't need anything fancy. Just something that can get good pics of the type of detailed work I do. I am open to suggestions as to make and model.
My laptop either needs to be repaired or replaced. I hope for the former, but suspect the latter. So long as the PC is working, I don't need the laptop, but I admit to being spoiled by the convenience of it. Should it need replacing, though, I think I will just save up for a higher end one.
That about does it for the obligatory New Year's Eve post. Take care and see you all next year!